Although I always found myself questioning the nature of existence through out my life, I didn't seriously start to consider the issue until I was living by myself during grad school in the fall of 2008. It was then I actually started to try and confront an issue that had always bugged me (and i'm sure everyone at various points in their lives), what the heck happens when we die?
What was different about me attempting to answer this question from previous times was that I had come to the realization that, pretty much anything that has ever been told to me regarding this topic has been from the mouth of another human. The problem here is humans manipulate things for reasons which are obvious and reasons which are... not so obvious. Not to mention information lost in translation or simply disregarded. What I wanted to do was try and attack this question outside of everything I had been told and look at it specifically from pure life experience.
At this point in my life I was still very much operating my brain under OS christianity 2.0 so my thinking went immediately to, "ok so we go to heaven or hell, but how do we get there?" (so much for attacking this question from pure experience!) I kept trying to think about how life experiences on earth would dictate this type of separation process. I imagined that if we did "good" or "bad" that our souls would continually undergo a type of magnetism process which would charge them to a certain degree, thus when we die we would be naturally be attracted to our post life destination. Then I thought, "well ok, good and bad are vague terms, what decides good from bad?" Being raised a catholic of course god came into mind, but then how does he (because of course god is masculine) decide? I first thought about how there had been times in my life when I did bad or good things. Then I thought about other people, how there are reports and stories of other humans doing horrid things and amazing things. I thought about humans when placed in desperate situations will do desperate things. Then a situation came into my mind. I thought about the life of someone much less fortunate then me, someone who constantly had negative things happening to them, and there whole life maybe just for the way they looked or spoke or whatever it may be they were tortured by other humans beings.
What if due to them coming up at the short end of the gene pool and not being born with suitable living characteristics among other human or simply they were born into a not suitable living environment and all these things lead them to not believe in god, because of course if god was so good why would he subject someone to that type of torture. According to catholicism they would not go to heaven and be cast off to hell. For the logical thinking person immediately you should think, "well thats not right", although i'm sure there are those of you out there thinking, "damn right he shouldn't go to hell!" Regardless, once I came to the realization that not every life is born into the same genetic and living conditions therefore there can never be a universal good or bad, right or wrong I decided that at that time I was just not ready to tackle issues of how and what determines where the soul goes in the afterlife.
Reflecting back on my thoughts then it is interesting to see all the pitfalls I encountered when trying to breach this topic.The main thing I got hung up on then was the concept of good or bad. We've all been taught it but never understood it in its entirety and this is because, there is no entirety. As far as life is concerned there is no universal "good" or universal "bad". The main reason being concepts of good and bad vary from person to person, tribe to tribe, city to city, country to country, etc. I know your probably thinking, well this is bologna, there has to be some inherent feeling of good or bad, because I can FEEL it when I do something either good or bad.
Ignoring the effects that one's subconscious mind has on our feelings and actions, I will agree that yes there does exist those type of feelings in all of us but its not specifically the feelings of good or bad but more correctly its the feelings of
what supports and is conducive to the continuity of life's existence or what is negative and harmful to the continuity life's existence. Every thought or experience you have ever had IS some variation of the two. Wouldn't it make sense? You are in fact life therefore shouldn't the measuring stick be what either supports or harms ur existence? Shouldn't the measuring stick be what suports or harms other living things existence?
If one accepts this notion (if you don't please offer a rebuttal) then you can understand, if you yourself are the measuring stick, if life itself is the measuring stick, the need for an outside judger is not needed. The mechanism for judging is already built into the system, for example if all life decided to not suport its existence guess what, it wouldn't exist! I wouldn't even be here to ponder these thoughts. If life decided to continually support its existence by living in harmony with all itself, well then we'll wind up where we are now.
Humans are the greatest expression of life supporting its own existence. (this is of course ignoring the hypotheses that life on other plants exist, which is another post in and of itself.)
The obvious question's here are, how would this life supporting or life harming information be stored? Why would life support or harm itself? What then happens to life which does or doesn't support itself? these questions will be discussed in another post but at this point I hope we can agree that the universal measuring stick for life existence is how much it supports or harms itself.